Liver cancer - how could you?!

Saw a patient in the ward, newly diagnosed with hepatoma (liver cancer). Deep in my heart, I was crying. I talked to him when he just came into the ward, he is cheerful but thin. He reminded me about my grandpa - who also seem very cheerful before he was diagnosed. This uncle is as unlucky as my grandpa as his management plan for his cancer is just palliative care. This is so common for hepatoma patient --> once diagnosed, mostly of end stage already. 

I saw him twice in the ward before I took off for a long weekend. Right after my holiday, I visited him again. This time, he seems thinner. He complaint about loss of appetite and his stomach felt uncomfortable. That moment, he has no idea about his cancer. And I, tried to hold back my tears. Grandpa complaint that before too. I remember how grandpa's tummy got so swollen and upset at the end of his days. It was painful for grandpa, and for us. Looking at this uncle's family members, I can see myself in it. They are trying to act cheerful and tried to hide their sadness. 

I hope uncle can live with this condition for a longer time with less suffering, to spend more quality time with his family. He is really nice and I did had a good chat with him. I'll pray for you, uncle. 

Grandpa, you've left us for more than 3 years. We miss you so much.
 Liver cancer. 3 months prognosis. That was short. I remember how hard it was to watch you leave. I remember it was me who asked you to go hospital for some morphine when you're suffering -- and that after your condition deteriorated badly. T_T I do hope you won't blame me. I just want you to have less pain. Hope you are doing well in another world. Miss you xx

Everything will be OK

"Everything will be ok!" ~~ I was telling myself today. 

You may feel like crap now, but things happened. 

Accept and move on with a big smile. 

Learn along the way, darling! 

PRP Life: Life is fragile

Seeing more patients day by day, and I realized that life is really fragile. This evening I just see the patient and family members entering the ward, the next morning when I wanted to interview them about their medications, they were gone. In a night, people may just lost their life. 

That experience taught me a lesson: 

Never think that there will be next time. Finish what you want to do at the moment immediately. Next time may be just too late to say. Want to say "I love you"? Say it. Want to give a hug? Do it. Want to share a story? Tell it. Want to clarify some misunderstanding? Do it. DON'T WAIT ANYMORE... 

[Sharing is Caring] 20 Things You Should Know about Dating An Independent Girl

Read an article about 20 things you should know about dating an independent girl (friend posted a link on Facebook) and find it interesting to share.

Independent girl? Can I consider myself as one? Hmmm.... Of the 20 things listed, I think I can happily fit myself into many of them. *claps* This makes me happy because I don't have high potential to be an over-attached girl. 

I love to be alone. I can climb up and down to fix things. I can clean up my own messes (which I usually creates a lot of them). Independent? I think I learnt it from time and experiences. Living away from home will definitely make you independent. 

This is my 6th year living away from home for good. From Penang to KL to Melbourne to KL to Alor Star. My happening life journey gave me the chance to learn and develop the ability to live independently. I may not be good in managing myself and my life still. But I'm grateful that I've given a chance to learn. 

Won't I feel homesick? Of course I will, but I will not cry like a baby anymore. Home is the best place in the world -- everyone's comfort zone. But being an adult, I feel the need to step out of our comfort zone, to take up challenges in life, while still cherish the moment spent with family members. 

(Notes to self) Things I need to learn

--> Learn to multitask and spend time wisely
--> Work hard to earn a good life for your family
--> Be good to everyone around you

--> Grab any opportunity -- they will not be there forever to wait for you to decide

--> Be independent

Have a good read of the article below! =D

*************************************************************************

20 Things You should Know About Dating An Independent Girl

(adopted content from ThoughtCatalog -- LINK HERE)

1. We need alone time. 

A little each day and more than a little on other days. It doesn’t mean we’ve lost interest in you.

2. We don’t mind if you don’t call or text us every second. 

We like it. We won’t be contacting you either. That said, if you’re late, don’t keep us guessing as to when you’ll show up as we’ll make other plans.

3. We can clean up our own messes.

We’re not waiting around for you to fix our problems.

4. We are perfectly fine doing chores, running errands, and exercising by ourselves. 

If you want to join us, we’re glad to have you along, but don’t talk to us while we’re in the zone.

PRP Life: TIredness

Happily did my Methadone shift on Raya Haji weekend. Was very chill in the morning but after methadone session, I was bombarded with 4 bedside counseling. Sore throat. *cough cough* There goes my Saturday. Finished work at 2pm (instead of 11.30am). 

Can PRP life be less tiring????